Damien the Antichrist Wishes You a Very Merry Antichristmas

"Alumni and friends,

"Wishing you and yours a holiday season full of peace, health, and happiness. Enjoy a little Great Dane magic sprinkled into this special holiday greeting.

"Sincerely yours,

"[signed] George Philip

"George M. Philip

"President

"University at Albany, State University of New York

"University at Albany, State University of New York · 1400 Washington Ave., · Albany, NY 12222 · Phone (518) 442-3300

"If you no longer wish to receive emails from us, unsubscribe here."

Ordinarily an insincere mass-mailing like the above is something I'd probably delete without taking much notice of it. However, by order of the so-called "agent of the President of the University" Clarence L. McNeill, I'm forbidden to communicate with Mr. Philip to wish him a happy holiday in return (if I were so inclined) and seemingly even forbidden to unsubscribe, since that too involves communication:

"Effective immediately, you are hereby notified that you are to cease and desist all contact with any office, department, unit or employee at the University other than me. As of this date, the University has designated me as your sole contact for all written and oral communication with the University, including, but not limited to, telephone calls and messages, emails, and mailed and faxed correspondence. I will determine when and if your communications will be addressed by the University."

It is, thus, more than a little perverse for Mr. Philip to keep e-mailing me, even just by including me on his indiscriminate e-mail list, when he knows I'm forbidden to communicate with him. A "special holiday greeting" - while he continues to discriminate against me and to have others do so as well. Unless Mr. Philip's also had other UAlbany alumni forbidden to communicate with anybody other than Mr. McNeill? It is, perhaps, telling that Mr. Philip intentionally doesn't include alumni among friends; he'd have had "Alumni and other friends" ghostwritten for him otherwise. ("Intentionally" is sarcasm; I suspect whoever wrote the greeting simply didn't think about what it conveyed, and Mr. Philip may have never bothered looking at it at all.)

I wonder when and why the Great Dane was named Damien, anyway: before or after The Omen? I prefer the Pedwin, myself. Also: why is the Great Dane mascot not gold like the Great Dane logo is? The illustrated gold dog with purple shading matches the school colors, while the mascot is just a regular dog suit.

Not even a real dog, just an imposter in a suit. Maybe such actually is a fitting mascot for UAlbany! There's plenty of imposters in suits to be found there. Put a criminal in one, and he or she can resemble a department chair, a chief of police, or a university president. But no, I don't care for the mascot any more than I do for the teams: dog-suit Damien is dead to me - he may shine in the spotlight, but he's abandoned the school's color.

All that glitters is not gold;

Often have you heard that told:

Many a man his life hath sold

But my outside to behold:

Gilded tombs do worms enfold.

Had you been as wise as bold,

Young in limbs, in judgement old

Your answer had not been inscroll'd

Fare you well, your suit is cold.

Oh, and another thing that's not gold:

Don't have Damien piss on my holidays and tell me it's a "little Great Dane magic" he's sprinkling...